Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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you will like this because i am black.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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