Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

TRICERATOPS!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops