What's white and horny? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops