Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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