What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

Maths.

What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...