A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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