How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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