A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops