Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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A van drives into a car.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops