Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Your mom went to college

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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