Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

Chlamydia

What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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