So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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Women's rights

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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