A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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