Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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