What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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