Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What's black and white and red all over? A plague victim.

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops