What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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