What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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