How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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