Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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alert('The Game')

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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