Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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Liverpool City Football Club

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Oh, go away

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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