Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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