How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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I am a mime

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su algato es en fuego

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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