Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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