Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...