What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

thumb_up thumb_down -12

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Nobody cares maddie!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops