Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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knock knock come in

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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