whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

One, two, three, four and five

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

I wrote a funny joke.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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