what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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where's mom I killed her

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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