Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whatdumb and gay stewart price

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops