whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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