What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

One, two, three, four and five

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

I wrote a funny joke.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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