What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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