Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

guess what what ...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

HELLO EVERYONE

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops