Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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69

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Where's my tractor?

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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