What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops