Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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