Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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Yes

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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