what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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