what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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I'm homeless.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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