Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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This is not funny.

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Justin Bieber.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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