What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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