thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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fava beans

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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I shot a bitch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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