- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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Matt is a Duster!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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