Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

a

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

Is Yered a dumbass? YA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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