What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops