What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops