Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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