A man buys free health care...

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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