A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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