What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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