What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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