What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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How's the weather? Good.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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