A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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this website even though its hilarious.

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops